Saturday, February 9, 2013

Roommate.

“Why am I so anxious? And then it hits me. I'm not anxious, I'm lonely. And I'm lonely in some horribly deep way and for a flash of an instant, I can see just how lonely, and how deep this feeling runs. And it scares the shit out of me to be so lonely because it seems catastrophic - seeing the car just as it hits you.” 
(Augusten Burroughs)

Today, my new roommate moved in.  It's a big change.  I had just gotten used to spending the days by myself without Megan or anyone else in my room.  I had gotten used to being lonely.  

I was used to the late nights and late mornings. 
To an empty bed and an empty desk. 
To being able to walk around my room naked.

And now I have to share it again. 
With a stranger. 
This is scary.  

Honestly, what if she doesn't like me? 
What if I'm not a good roommate? 
What if I don't like her? 
What if she's not a good roommate? 
What if we fight? 

I don't even know her and I agreed to let her move in with me.

But I agreed.  I based my decision on my gut.  On how I felt after that first meeting.  And my gut is usually right.  This is just a change. 
A change of lifestyle. 
A change of living. 
A change of pace. 

Change is good. 
It makes us strong.

Breathe.  Pray.  Trust. 
God knows what He's doing. 

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” 
(Lao Tzu)