And for a person like me, who loves to talk with others, feels awkward in silence, and hates not being able to share her opinions, this was an awful thing. But into my second day, it's turning out not to be so bad after all.
See, I have learned how to use my own made up sign language to express what I need to say. I have learned that words, although they may provide meaning and description and things, are unnecessary. And I have learned that the most important part of life is simply to listen.
Not simply to listen to the people around me, but to listen to God.
In the UCC, we like to say that God is still speaking and that you should never place a period where God has placed a comma. But so often, we forget.
I forget to slow down and listen.
I forget that God is giving me direction, that God is still speaking.
I forget that I am not in control, that God has placed a comma and not a period.
We go about our lives, saying nonsensical things, stammering hurried prayers before exams, speaking words that are without meaning. We spend so much time talking--to ourselves, to others, to God--that we don't listen.
"Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God." (Diana Robinson)
Often, we focus so much on prayer, that we forget to meditate. We forget to listen.
So in this time of voiceless-ness, I am going to listen.
I don't know what God has to say to me, but I can be certain of one thing.
God is still speaking, even if I cannot.