Sunday, February 17, 2013

Again.

"Some people are very sensitive to sexual harassment, and some are a little more used to it. But when you feel that prickling feeling across the back of your neck, you know that some boundary has been crossed." (Jan Johnson) 

It started the first time that I saw him last night (we aren’t friends, which is what made this so weird).  Somehow we both did that awkward thing where you make eye contact with the other person at the same time and his facial expression just made me really, really uncomfortable.  But I just kind of ignored it because it wasn’t a big deal and I tend to be hyper-sensitive about these things.  

Then later, after the swing dancing portion of the night was over, he was just sort of wandering about, getting awkwardly close to some of my friends, and dancing with them, when I knew that they had never met him before in their lives.  They all looked uncomfortable, but the guys we were with cut in and got them away from him.  And he did that to one of my roommate’s friends and I saw her mouth something to them and they pulled her away from them.  I had to do the same thing to one of the girls in my section in marching band twice that night.  

After the first time, I said something to two of my friends, who were dating, because they were near me, and he never really came close to us again and I kind of lost track of him for a while.  But then at the end, I walked out to get my coat with some of my friends and I was walking back towards them when he was walking out.  He was on my left, reached across me, touching my chest, and grabbed onto my right arm and squeezed it.  It made me so uncomfortable.

One of my friends was there and saw what happened, so she pushed me over toward her brother, and he didn’t come near me again.  But we all knew that he was drunk and no one really seemed to act like this was out of the ordinary, so I just kind of shook it off until I was talking to a friend from band last night, and she said that I should have gone and talked to DPS about it.  But again, I’m hyper-sensitive about these things, he was drunk, and no one else seemed that concerned about it.

But I feel a little uncomfortable living next to him.  Okay, a lot uncomfortable.  But there’s not really anything I can do about it. 

I mean, according to policy, he did nothing wrong.  Because he was drunk.  Because no one else will come forward and speak up.  Because I'm overreacting.  

This upsets me.  Because it's not fair.  And it only perpetuates rape culture on campus. 

Even if I report it, he was drunk.  He wasn't responsible for his actions. 
That's if anyone actually believes me.

This isn't okay with me.