Thursday, February 20, 2014

Why Eating Food is Important

1. Food = fuel. 
2. Starvation decreases brain volume along with grey and white matter responsible for multiple cognitive functions. 
3. I like being warm. 
4. Not eating makes my depression worse. 
6. I want to be a good role model for my cousins, younger friends, and camp girls.

7. Cellular respiration. 
8. To be able to do fun winter things like ice skate and ski with friends.
9. So that I can have kids one day. 
10. So my digestive system will be happy with me always. 
11. To decrease anxiety. 
12.  So I can enjoy cooking yummy things. 
13. Breakfast/lunch/dinner dates with friends. 
14. Having energy! 
15. Being social. 
16. People will worry less about me. 
17. My immune system will function better. 
18. I'll know what actually being sick feels like--not just what being ED sick feels like. 
19. Julie will continue to love me and work with me. 
20. I will get my life back. 

21. To go back to Gettysburg. 
22. So I can make a difference in the world. 
23. Because I want to learn all the psychology. 
24. I need a fully functional brain to learn. 
25. So I can give blood and save lives. 
26. So I get get my blood drawn for a simple TB test. 
28. Exploring the food of different cultures. 
29. Have energy to play with kids. 
30. I will be less tired. 
31. Just overall feeling better. 

32. Food is medicine. 
33. For health. 
34. So I can function. 
35. To not be sick anymore. 
36. Decreased mood swings. 
37. Food is delicious. 
38. I want to live a long life. 
39. Because my heart likes food. 
40. I like it when my organs are all functioning properly. 
41. So my muscles will stop aching because my body is eating them. 
42. To keep my metabolism stable. 

43. I like being alive. 
44. Road trips will be more enjoyable. 
45. My body needs nutrients. 
46. To be nice to myself. 
47. To be able to treat EDs one day and not feel like a hypocrite. 
48. Movie theater popcorn! 
49. Everyone needs to eat. 
50. Because the only way out is through.
51. I am stronger than this. 

52. To get my PhD.
53. Because my body won't run on X calories just because I decided it would. 
54. There's more to life than food. 
55. Because fuck diet culture.
56. The definition of beautiful does not involve the word skinny. 
57. Perfection isn't attainable. 
58. Sometimes you have to do what you don't like in order to get to where you want to be. 
59. So I can rewire my brain. 
60. Because my future daughter(s) will have a healthy relationship with food. 
61. Life is too short to be at war with myself. 
62. So I can go to grad school somewhere warm and not close to home. 
63. To reach my potential. 
64. Because there's more to life than scales and calories. 
65. I deserve it. 

66. So I can fill my life with busyness again. 
67. Because I want recovery. 
68. Scales only give a numerical representation of my relationship with gravity, not my worth. 
69. People don't actually care what you look like or what/how you eat. 
70. Tomorrow is a fresh start. 
71. I like remembering things. 
72. So I can date a boy and maybe marry him one day. 
73. Because not eating is exhausting and sucks. 

74. Birthday cake! 
75. So I can go out for my 21st birthday and drink without worrying about the calories in alcohol. 
76. I hate doing behavior chains.
77. Fewer mental breakdowns. 
78. So I can be comfortable in my own skin. 
79. Tacos. 
80. I'll actually look forward to seeing Dr. G and Julie because they're amazing people. 
81. Long hikes in the woods. 
82. So that taking most of this year off will not have been for nothing. 
83. Because I want to be one of 30-40% that fully recover. 
84. To not feel guilt or shame over what, when, and how much I am eating. 

85. Chocolate. 
86. There is no good excuse for not eating. 
87. I don't want to end up in the hospital. 
88. Long bike rides. 
89. To be happy. 
90. Because people have faith in me. 
91. So I can go running for enjoyment, not in order to burn calories or lose weight.
92. To heal relationships ruined by my eating disorder.  
93. Thanksgiving and other holidays. 
94. Food is nothing to be afraid of. 
95. So that I can win this war. 

96. To be a better therapist. 
97. I want to get better. 
98. My body needs nutrients to function. 
99. So I can be fully present in every situation. 
100. Because I am not my eating disorder.